USS SASSAFRAS
Disguised figure running
Natives running after him
OH GOD! A TAUN-TAUN! (wrong
series)
"That was our ride!"
More running
Inside shuttlecraft
Vulcan in a nifty suit
"Are you sure you don't want
me to go?"
"That would be
illogical."
We all laugh at his expense
More running, Kirk ditches the
scroll
"I HATE THIS!" "I
KNOW YOU DO!"
Into the deep blue
Exterior shot of the
USS Enterprise
"You cannae hide a ship
under water."
There is drama
"We must follow the Prime
Directive."
"What would he do if it were
me?"
"He'd let you die."
They don't follow the Prime
Directive.
Title Screen?
London! Bleak, sad piano music
It's Mickey from Doctor Who
Big dog, go to hospital, sick
girl
It's all very sad
"I can help you."
OH MY SEXY ACCENT IT'S SHERLOCK
HOLMES
Lab time with Sherlock/Khan (but
we don't know that yet)
Mickey cures his girl and then
does something with a ring
BOOM! Evil Benedict Cumberbatch
smirk!
Maybe this is where the title
screen is?
Kirk is having sexy times, but
RING RING
Spock is sassy, as per usual
"We aren't going to get the
five year assignment."
Spock handed in his report, as
per usual
"You disobeyed the Prime
Directive. What do you have to say?"
"Never trust a Vulcan."
"Are you giving me attitude,
Spock?"
"I am expressing several
attitudes. To which are you referring?"
"You're going back to the
academy, Kirk."
Enter Kirk, bar, flirting
Remember when he was going back
to the academy?
Well, now he gets to be first
officer
Lesson = failed
Big, fancy meeting
"Hey, Captain."
"I'm not Captain
anymore."
Backstabbing! Oh my!
Meeting, Kirk says something
brilliant
Then Khan ruins it all (John
Harrison?)
Pike dies, Spock almost cries
Kirk definitely cries
There is sadness
"Scotty found
something."
"He transported to the
Klingon home planet." -- but it sounds Scottish
Kirk and Spock report it in a
huff
They request to go hunt down Khan
Remember when Kirk was demoted to
first officer?
Well, now he's Captain again
WHY DO THEY BOTHER TRYING TO
TEACH HIM LESSONS?!
Some blonde lady shows up
Spock is clearly suspicious (to
be read as jealous)
Bones does some medical type
stuff
What an old curmudgeon!
Starfleet put torpedoes on the
Enterprise
So much for a peacekeeping
operation
Scotty resigns
=( =( =( =( =(
Some drama is happening between
Spock and Uhura
Who cares?
Chekov goes down to Engineering!
The gang goes down to the Klingon
planet in a shuttlecraft
Which is a clever reference to a
Star Trek: TOS episode
(omg this is a really long
mooooviiiiieeeee)
There's a fight or something
The Klingons are pretty sweet
Sulu says "If you test me,
you will fail"
Because he's asian! Amiright?!
Khan shows up and helps them all
out, then surrenders
(this is starting to become a
blur)
UHHHH Kirk phones Scotty? There's
sass?
Khan tells them to look inside
the torpedoes
There are tears!!! <3
The blonde lady is the Admiral's
daughter (NOBODY CARES)
There are frozen popsicle people
in the torpedoes (Khan's crew)
They're like super duper solider
type people
SO THE ADMIRAL IS EVIL
There's a battle thing
Khan works with them and then
he's like "Screw that"
But Scotty shows up again before
that
Anyways the warp core is
misaligned and science type stuff
So, Kirk tries to fix it and then
he dies
(it's just like the scene in the
other Star Trek movie)
"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"
Spock chases Khan through town!
(it looks hilarious)
Spock tries to murder Khan but
then the old curmudgeon is like
"DAMNIT, JIM, I'M A DOCTOR
AND I NEED KHAN ALIVE"
So, they keep Benedict
Cumberbatch alive
Kirk lives! Yay!
They freeze Khan again
There was probably more sass
somewhere in there
There is always sass with these
people
And then they go on the five year
mission
How Quaint
I like sassy Spock.
ReplyDeleteHopealope, yes. this gives me intrigue! here is some of why:
ReplyDeletea) you (seem to) remember some lines verbatim. wow. and other times you just say "Kirk says something brilliant" ...this kind of selective transcription shows how this poem is YOUR own version of a piece collective cultural consciousness! as with the Dr. Who references and NOBODY CARES bit (which also nicely calls back to "who cares?")
b) emoticons. who said you could use these in a poem? hopefully, no one did. because then you'd be your own rebel fighter Jedi. wrong franchise! partly what makes Emma Kay's Worldview compelling--i suspect--is the contrast between its formal subject (world/human history) and the relaxed tone in which she writes. i'm not sure that your very casual tone in this poem contrasts that of its source (the film), but emoticons seem beautifully out-of-placid in a poem!
c) i wonder if some of the longer, wordier stanzas could have the punchy energy of the first few (as well as "Lesson = failed", "Enter Kirk, bar, flirting" and "Big, fancy meeting"). because the undersneaking narrative is big Hollywood, i'm betting the descriptions could be even blunter. (i.e. excise any "there is/are")
d) would it be good-strange or bad-strange to write yourself into the memory-poem-script? such as, Hope says yay! Hope laughs at his expense. eh? i think it could radically enhance/frustrate the poem/narrative away from being merely an incomplete reduction of the movie's plot/dialogue...?
e) any other takes? thoughts? reactions? suggestions? compliments?
if you felt like doing this for the last 5 movies you've seen, may i suggest a title for the mini-collection? spoil err alert!
ps. you should listen to the DaftPunk vid on Lollygags Bloggylabs while watching the above gif. it makes sense.